So Long and Thanks For All the Fish
by Ravenstar1280
Summary: Christen is an 13 year old orphan. She lives across from Arthur dent. So what happens when they council wants to knock it down? What happens when big ships appear in the sky, ready to blow up the planet? Please read! RR!


Hello, people of earth! This is your Christmas gift of 2006! (Who knows when people will be reading this?) So enjoy everyone!

You don't have to know the book to read this; the movie will do just fine. It is based on the book, however.

Summary

Christen was a normal teenage girl. Sure, she was an orphan, but she got a lot more than most. Being adopted was a dream. Her neighbor, Arthur Dent, was the only one that actually knew of her presence. But what happens when big yellow ships appear in the sky while his house is being knocked to the ground? What happens when she escape's the doom of her planet with an alien that lived somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse? Now, she never wanted to be firing Kill-o-zap guns at large green men. But fate, she decided, was just not on her side.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Main Plot and Most Characters belong to Douglas Adams.

Chapter one

Christen was a normal 13 year old orphan girl. She lived in the western country, about and hour from London. Her home was called Oak Orphanage, even though there were no oak trees anywhere near it. Now, I could tell you that she had many, many friends and lived a happy life and everything was hunky-dory; but I would be lying. She was by no means popular; the exact opposite, in fact. The only person who cared about her was her neighbor, Arthur Dent.

Her mother had died when she was born, and her father had committed suicide. She was originally sent to an orphanage in London, but it got overloaded and some of the kids had to be sent away to Oaks. She was one of those few.

She didn't think herself pretty, but she didn't think herself ugly either. She had tan skin and a splattering of freckles on her face and arms. Her hair was a mix between red and brown with natural highlights. Her eyes were a strange mixture of green, blue, hazel, and gray. They changed with her moods. She had a rim of black round her irises. It was a Thursday, the first day of summer break and it was surprisingly cold. So cold it was on the verge of snowing. She planned to go to the library today so she had put on soft boots. (Think uggs but not hot.)

Her parents were by no means poor. They had left her a large trust fund, to last her until she came of age. When she said large, she meant LARGE. Enough for her to buy semi decent everyday clothing that fit. Noting the blue sky heading towards them she pulled on a pair of jeans, a light blue long sleeved with a dark green t-shirt over it. Her hair was down, in all its wavy glory. A hair tie was around her wrist though, in case it got windy. Walking out the door she grabbed her coat. It was dark blue with bronze stripes on the cuffs. About five minutes down the street she noticed that bulldozers were coming up to Arthur Dent's house.

"What are they doing there?" She muttered. Running back up to her favorite neighbor she panted at the front door, passing the slow progress of the bulldozing team. Knocking, she called.

"Mr. Dent! Mr. Dent!" Thumping down the stairs. A brief 'owwwww,' was heard as Arthur bumped his head on the stair, and seconds later the door was opened.

"Hello, Christen!" He said brightly. Arthur Dent would be like a second uncle if her father was still alive. But he wasn't, so he was an honorary father. They had been working on plans for adoption, but Arthur hadn't the money.

"Mr. Dent! Oh, it's terrible! There are at least five of them! Come on!" Arthur rushed outside, clad in a green bathrobe, a t-shirt and striped long pajamas. Seeing the machines, he palled.

"The bypass..." He murmured.

"Excuse me, Mr. Dent, but what bypass?" Arthur frowned.

"About a week ago I went into the county building because a got a call that said that there were plans that concerned me. I had to go down to the basement, where there wasn't a light bulb, and dust off the board to see that a bypass was going to be built and my house was coming down with it!"

"That's completely unacceptable! They should have told you, at least!" By now the teams of men were in the front lawn. A fat man came up to them.

"Mr. Dent and..." He looked at Christen distain fully.

"Christen Blackfeather." His gazed sharpened as she supplied an answer.

"Where are your parents, girl?" he asked. She nodded her head towards the orphanage and he snorted.

"Mr. Dent, I'm afraid you will have to get out of your house. You see, there's a bypass that needs to be built through it." Arthur exploded.

"A bypass?! Through my house? It's been in my family for years! You can't just go knocking it down! Why, it's ungraceful! Cowardly! Not to mention that I don't have anywhere else to go!" Mr. Prosser looked shocked for a moment before retorting.

"It has to be built!" Christen stepped forward.

"Why has it got to be built?" She asked.

"It's a bypass! You've got to build bypass's!" they soon found themselves lying in the dirt (luckily it wasn't mud,) in front of a bulldozer.

"You've got to build bypass's," Arthur mocked.

"Mr. Dent-,"

"Christen, how many times have I asked you to call me Arthur?"

"Sorry. But how are we going to get out of this?"

"We wait." They waited.

A bypass is a rather large road built so that man can get from point A to point C rather quickly. Point B is usually a run down petrol station with a dirty toilet somewhere in the middle, but just far enough away that you can have almost no petrol at point A or C and not make it to the station. The bypass can also go to the rare point D, which is made out to be in the middle of nowhere because it's last on the map. In this case, however, London was point D, and they were point A, and point B led off to a flat where Arthur had gone to a fancy dress party and met a very nice girl who he completely blew it off with. Point C was an abandoned grass runway airport with an outhouse and Petrol station in front. Christen and Arthur were brought out of their musings by Ford Prefect, who was coming in with a shopping cart full of beer. He came up.

"Listen, Arthur, we need to talk. I-," He stopped, spotting Christen. "Who are you?" He asked.

"Christen Blackfeather."

"Well then. Mr. Prosser!" he called. He came over.

"Yes?" He asked stiffly.

"Would you mind laying here for a while while me and Arthur-,"

"And Christen,"

"And Christen go down to the pub?"

"You want me," He pointed to himself, "To lie in the mud," he pointed to the ground, "While your off gallivanting to the pub at 11 in the morning."

"Yes." Ford said. Arthur laughed lightly and sat up. "All you have to do is lie there until we get back." Mr. Prosser thought it over and nodded.

"You'd better be off then, right?" he shooed them away and tried to get his workers away from the beer. Soon they were in a stall in the pub, Christen eating a large bag of peanuts and the older men drinking beer.

"So." Said Ford.

"So." Replied Arthur. Christen rolled her eyes.

"Remember when we met?" said Ford, going in for the kill.

"Unfortunately, yes." Christen sat back with her peanuts and watched the show.

"What did you think of it?" Arthur sighed.

"Ford, you were trying to shake hands with a car." Ford nodded and leaned forward.

"Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?" he asked.

"I assumed you were drunk." Christen snorted and Ford gave her a sharp look.

"What if I told you that I come from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?" Arthur looked alarmed.

"That's enough beer, ford." He grabbed Fords next cup before he could pick it up.

"No, really. I wasn't drunk. I was trying to introduce my self."

"To a car?" Christen asked doubtfully. Ford sighed, irritated.

"I thought they were the main species on the planet." Arthur rubbed his temples and Ford grabbed back his beer. He walked off to get more.

"Is he... er... sane?" she asked.

"Christen, I don't even want to know the answer to the question." Christen nodded. Arthur looked out the window, worriedly. When ford came back he started.

"How much do you trust that guy?" he asked, indicating to Mr. Prosser.

"I would trust him to the end of the earth."

"And when's that?"

"About five minutes away. Drink up." Arthur raised his glass to his lips but stopped.

"Why?"

"Muscle relaxant."

"Muscle relaxant?"

"You'll need it." The bar tender walked up, rubbing a glass with a cloth.

"Do you really think the worlds going to end, sir?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Shouldn't we put paper bags over our heads, or something?"

"If you think it'll help."

"Will it?"

"Not in the least." A crash was heard from out side.

"That's my house!" Arthur yelled, and rushed out with christen on his heels.

"Stop! Stop! Barbarians! Life-ruiners! Stop!" Christen was yelling too. In all the noise they didn't see the big yellow ships settle over the land. They didn't see them until ford came and handed them both a towel, put up his thumb and said 'hold on'.


End file.
